Taming Your Inner Critic with Self-Kindness
- Debra Anson
- Mar 4
- 2 min read
We all have an inner voice that questions, critiques, and sometimes even discourages us. While it's natural to reflect on our choices, an overly harsh inner critic can make us doubt ourselves and hold us back from joy and growth. The good news? You don’t have to believe everything that voice says. With a little kindness and practice, you can quiet the negativity and replace it with encouragement. Here’s how:
1. Give Your Inner Critic a Name
Instead of letting self-doubt take control, try giving it a name—something lighthearted, like "Worried Wendy" or "Cautious Carl." This helps you recognize that this voice isn’t you—it’s just a habit of thought, and habits can be changed.
2. Gently Question the Criticism
When you catch yourself thinking, I’ll never be good enough, pause. Ask yourself, Is this true? Would I say this to someone I love? Often, our inner critic is much harsher than reality. Try shifting your perspective to something more balanced, like I’m doing my best, and that is always enough.
3. Speak to Yourself Like a Friend
Think about how you’d comfort a loved one who is struggling. Would you criticize them? Or would you offer words of support? You deserve that same kindness. Try saying to yourself, It’s okay to make mistakes. I’m learning and growing, and that’s a beautiful thing.
4. Surround Yourself with Gentle Reminders
Write down kind words—on sticky notes, in your phone, or even in a journal. Simple phrases like:💛 I am worthy of love and kindness.💛 I trust myself to figure things out.💛 I am doing my best, and that’s more than enough.The more you remind yourself of these truths, the more natural they’ll feel.
5. Take Small, Brave Steps
Your inner critic often wants to protect you from failure, but sometimes that means it keeps you stuck. Instead of waiting to feel “ready,” take small steps toward your dreams. Every step forward is proof that you can do this.
A Final Gentle Reminder
Learning to soften your inner critic isn’t about silencing yourself—it’s about making space for a kinder, more compassionate voice. Be patient with yourself. Growth takes time, and you are already enough, just as you are.
What’s one small way you can be kinder to yourself today? 💛
Need help taming that inner critic? Let's talk.
Debi Anson LCSW CAADC
616-268-2787
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